I woke this morning still feeling a bit negative from the recent interaction I had with my son. My negativity stemmed from the fact that it is not fun for me to have to remind him to put his things away so that the cat won't swallow them, become ill, and need expensive surgery to have the item surgically removed by a vet.
I became a full time "Bonus Parent" (commonly referred to as a step-parent)three years ago. I always dreamed of having a family. My husband truly is my dream come true and I my son is everything I have hoped for in a child. He is a responsible, funny, thoughtful, respectful, talented child.
Despite knowing I have all I ever wanted, I sometimes yearn for the carefree days when I was dating my husband and we had more time to ourselves to pursue grown-up adventures and days out "on the town".
I also remember the days in the not-so-distant past when I could play my music loud and not worry about the lyrics. Now, if I like the beat of a song, yet I hear the lyrics aren't fit for an 11-year-old's ears, I turn the station.
I try to make good decisions for my son's sake and it stings a bit when I try to implement something important, like encouraging him to put his Silly Bandz out of our cat's reach, and I am treated like I'm a pain in the...
I am working on changing my own negative attitude, so to be faced with a Little Someone's Negative attitude and to feel the need to respond positively in such a situation, I find myself falling short at times.
So here I am waking with a bit of a "bad attitude", so those of you following the blog know that within minutes of waking, I am back to Day One!
I think on this Memorial Day of all of those men and women who gave their lives or gave up time with their families for the sake of our country. My issues seem so trivial in comparison. So often, I ask forgiveness for my shortcomings. This is one of those times.
I give credit to my husband. He may sense my negativity, yet rather than stating any aggravation with me, he steps in and lends a hand in the most positive way. His extreme positive attitude of support and understanding in such circumstances always helps to move me from the dark chasm of negative despair to the bright glow of love and hope. He is an amazing husband and father.
So, I am disappointed in myself for being negative over what seems so trivial compared to the challenges that have faced so many of our American Military Heroes and their families both past and present. However, we are all human. I guess I am not the only mother to experience such feelings considering an article I read in the Carolina Parent May 2010 publication. The article on page 29 was titled: "Moving Beyond Mommy Burnout" and it mentioned 20 ways to refresh yourself with ideas ranging from a quick walk to a bubble bath.
It feels good to know I am not alone. I also know I am making a change.
While it seems to be a slow one......
some change in the positive direction
is better than
none.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Day Five and Yet Day Two Eludes Me
INTRODUCTION
For those of you who are reading this blog for the first time, you can begin here.
Otherwise, those following the blog can begin reading at: THE LATEST UPDATE
It seems that there is a BATTLE being waged right here, in the U.S.A.
Our actions can support or hinder this battle.
If being part of the SOLUTION interests you, READ ON.
This battle is being fought in every state, every city and every neighborhood that...
has Internet access.
It involves all of the attention we give to TRIVIAL MATTERS.
The "battle" I notice is between:
the amount of Media Attention to Trivial, Negative Events compared with
the amount of Media Attention to Positive, Inspirational Events.
Perhaps there are those who want to focus on negative news.
I am not one of those people.
I believe many others feel the same.
We have little control over what the media publishes.
We do have control over what we choose to put into our minds, however.
We can control the news we spread by "word of mouth".
We CAN make a change.
We can find ways in our own corner of the world to focus on the positive.
Think about how our society could benefit if each person took their attention off of the TRIVIAL.
Each of us can help by refusing to give attention to trivial matters!
We all inhabit some part of this Intriguing World.
Do we decorate our space with dull criticisms & complaints or colorful compliments?
The power to choose is ours.
The choice lies..
at the tip of our tongue!
I believe one way to help create change in the world is to BE THE CHANGE you hope to see.
One helpful resource I recently discovered as I strive to focus on the positive is:
A Complaint Free World.org
This is a website that has a suggested plan to help a person develop an attitude of gratitude. It is based on the premise that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.
Although I am aware of the importance of focusing on the positive in my life and speaking without complaints, it is not always easy for me to do!
I am wearing my Complaint Free Bracelet today. I plan to keep track of my progress toward my goal of going 21 days without complaining.
The way it works is that if I go five days without complaining, yet I complain on day six, then Day 7 starts the count back at ONE. I must go 21 days in a row.
I'm up for the challenge...
THE LATEST UPDATE
Well, today is Day One for me....again. I wish I had been successful at not complaining, because then I could wake up to Day Two tomorrow.
What was my complaint?
Well, I was on the highway today, and there wasn't much traffic. I am listening to some good tunes and suddenly I notice in my rear view mirror, a car approaching at lightning speed. This car must have been going 90 miles an hour. The car was coming right at me and at the last minute, it swerved into the far left lane to pass me.
My heart raced and I laid on the horn while declaring, "You are an @$$&*!#". I didn't feel bad for honking, I actually did that in hopes that the driver would consider the threat to others they were posing. Yet, I just realized that I need not spew out negativity in such a situation. It is good practice for me when I am alone to use self-control with my language so that when I am around others in the future in a stressful situation, I will already have practiced more self-control.
If you were to read the following blog for example, you'll read about when I raised my voice at my son.
I can accomplish the same result using a regular tone of voice and it is more pleasant for all of us.
Well, just monitoring my actions as I am doing now is making me accountable to myself. I know that this is the beginning of better communication with others in my life.
I look forward to waking to Day One and the unforeseen events this Intriguing World has in store for me...
For those of you who are reading this blog for the first time, you can begin here.
Otherwise, those following the blog can begin reading at: THE LATEST UPDATE
It seems that there is a BATTLE being waged right here, in the U.S.A.
Our actions can support or hinder this battle.
If being part of the SOLUTION interests you, READ ON.
This battle is being fought in every state, every city and every neighborhood that...
has Internet access.
It involves all of the attention we give to TRIVIAL MATTERS.
The "battle" I notice is between:
the amount of Media Attention to Trivial, Negative Events compared with
the amount of Media Attention to Positive, Inspirational Events.
Perhaps there are those who want to focus on negative news.
I am not one of those people.
I believe many others feel the same.
We have little control over what the media publishes.
We do have control over what we choose to put into our minds, however.
We can control the news we spread by "word of mouth".
We CAN make a change.
We can find ways in our own corner of the world to focus on the positive.
Think about how our society could benefit if each person took their attention off of the TRIVIAL.
Each of us can help by refusing to give attention to trivial matters!
We all inhabit some part of this Intriguing World.
Do we decorate our space with dull criticisms & complaints or colorful compliments?
The power to choose is ours.
The choice lies..
at the tip of our tongue!
I believe one way to help create change in the world is to BE THE CHANGE you hope to see.
One helpful resource I recently discovered as I strive to focus on the positive is:
A Complaint Free World.org
This is a website that has a suggested plan to help a person develop an attitude of gratitude. It is based on the premise that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.
Although I am aware of the importance of focusing on the positive in my life and speaking without complaints, it is not always easy for me to do!
I am wearing my Complaint Free Bracelet today. I plan to keep track of my progress toward my goal of going 21 days without complaining.
The way it works is that if I go five days without complaining, yet I complain on day six, then Day 7 starts the count back at ONE. I must go 21 days in a row.
I'm up for the challenge...
THE LATEST UPDATE
Well, today is Day One for me....again. I wish I had been successful at not complaining, because then I could wake up to Day Two tomorrow.
What was my complaint?
Well, I was on the highway today, and there wasn't much traffic. I am listening to some good tunes and suddenly I notice in my rear view mirror, a car approaching at lightning speed. This car must have been going 90 miles an hour. The car was coming right at me and at the last minute, it swerved into the far left lane to pass me.
My heart raced and I laid on the horn while declaring, "You are an @$$&*!#". I didn't feel bad for honking, I actually did that in hopes that the driver would consider the threat to others they were posing. Yet, I just realized that I need not spew out negativity in such a situation. It is good practice for me when I am alone to use self-control with my language so that when I am around others in the future in a stressful situation, I will already have practiced more self-control.
If you were to read the following blog for example, you'll read about when I raised my voice at my son.
I can accomplish the same result using a regular tone of voice and it is more pleasant for all of us.
Well, just monitoring my actions as I am doing now is making me accountable to myself. I know that this is the beginning of better communication with others in my life.
I look forward to waking to Day One and the unforeseen events this Intriguing World has in store for me...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Silly Bandz Drove Me Over the Edge
O.K., I guess I shouldn't blame it on the Silly Bandz.
Anyone with grade school aged children would most likely know what Silly Bandz are. They resemble rubber bands when worn around the wrist. Yet, once removed and placed on a flat surface, they often reveal their clever shape in the form of an animal or other creature.
So there I was late on Saturday evening after working an 8 hour day with an hour and a half round trip commute, chopping veggies for salads we could enjoy during the week. I was feeling good to be preparing a healthy alternative to grabbing a bag of chips when hunger struck.
Then, something else struck.
It was sense of concern when I saw my son's Silly Bandz abandoned on the counter top. I thought of our new kitten, who plays with everything. When we adopted him, I brought a string toy into the Vet's office to soothe him. In the course of doing what I thought was a good deed to entertain my kitty, the Vet informed me that such a toy usually ends up eaten by a cat and strung around their intestines later to be removed for a sum of nearly $1,000.
Needless to say, those Silly Bandz sitting on the counter quickly brought thoughts of potential pain for our pet and a financial hit for our bank account.
I suggested to my son that he store the Bandz in one of his drawers until he chose to wear them again.
This was met with resistance, and after a day of work, I snapped at him, raising my voice.
Once I had switched my bracelet from one wrist to the other, I saw how upset he looked.
"Switched my bracelet...?", you may be wondering. For those new to my blog, I'll explain. I am wearing my Complaint Free bracelet with my goal in mind.
Inspired by the website: A Compliant Free World.org, I am striving to achieve 21 days of being complaint free. My daily goal is to avoid verbally complaining or criticizing. Although in this situation I was not complaining, or criticizing, I was frustrated and chose to raise my voice. I am striving to use more self-control and to communicate with peace. I could have gotten the same message across, minus all the "drama".
So I made the effort to use a calm voice and I apologized for losing my cool.
I also pointed out that my heart was in the right place when the discussion originated, since the Bandz did pose a threat to our cat.
I asked for his input on why he responded as he did. I learned from listening to him that he sometimes speaks over me because he is afraid of not being given the time to speak, as is the case in school sometimes.
This is understandable, given the ratio of students to teacher. So, my husband reminded him that saying, "Excuse me", is appropriate in those situations.
Then, I suggested we end the night on a positive note so we watched thirty minutes of, "So You Think You Can Dance". It was a smooth ending to a rocky evening.
Becoming a parent has helped me gain a greater respect for my own parents than any other single event could, I believe.
I'll blog sometime about walking in each other's shoes and the lessons I have learned not only from my parents, yet also from my siblings and others. For now, I am falling asleep at the keyboard. Despite what time my computer states, it is almost 1:00 A.M. on Sunday. Time to sign off for now.
Anyone with grade school aged children would most likely know what Silly Bandz are. They resemble rubber bands when worn around the wrist. Yet, once removed and placed on a flat surface, they often reveal their clever shape in the form of an animal or other creature.
So there I was late on Saturday evening after working an 8 hour day with an hour and a half round trip commute, chopping veggies for salads we could enjoy during the week. I was feeling good to be preparing a healthy alternative to grabbing a bag of chips when hunger struck.
Then, something else struck.
It was sense of concern when I saw my son's Silly Bandz abandoned on the counter top. I thought of our new kitten, who plays with everything. When we adopted him, I brought a string toy into the Vet's office to soothe him. In the course of doing what I thought was a good deed to entertain my kitty, the Vet informed me that such a toy usually ends up eaten by a cat and strung around their intestines later to be removed for a sum of nearly $1,000.
Needless to say, those Silly Bandz sitting on the counter quickly brought thoughts of potential pain for our pet and a financial hit for our bank account.
I suggested to my son that he store the Bandz in one of his drawers until he chose to wear them again.
This was met with resistance, and after a day of work, I snapped at him, raising my voice.
Once I had switched my bracelet from one wrist to the other, I saw how upset he looked.
"Switched my bracelet...?", you may be wondering. For those new to my blog, I'll explain. I am wearing my Complaint Free bracelet with my goal in mind.
Inspired by the website: A Compliant Free World.org, I am striving to achieve 21 days of being complaint free. My daily goal is to avoid verbally complaining or criticizing. Although in this situation I was not complaining, or criticizing, I was frustrated and chose to raise my voice. I am striving to use more self-control and to communicate with peace. I could have gotten the same message across, minus all the "drama".
So I made the effort to use a calm voice and I apologized for losing my cool.
I also pointed out that my heart was in the right place when the discussion originated, since the Bandz did pose a threat to our cat.
I asked for his input on why he responded as he did. I learned from listening to him that he sometimes speaks over me because he is afraid of not being given the time to speak, as is the case in school sometimes.
This is understandable, given the ratio of students to teacher. So, my husband reminded him that saying, "Excuse me", is appropriate in those situations.
Then, I suggested we end the night on a positive note so we watched thirty minutes of, "So You Think You Can Dance". It was a smooth ending to a rocky evening.
Becoming a parent has helped me gain a greater respect for my own parents than any other single event could, I believe.
I'll blog sometime about walking in each other's shoes and the lessons I have learned not only from my parents, yet also from my siblings and others. For now, I am falling asleep at the keyboard. Despite what time my computer states, it is almost 1:00 A.M. on Sunday. Time to sign off for now.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Day 2 plus Day 3 Equals Day One!
Thursday was Day 2 and today...Friday, is Day 3.
Yet, now, I am back to Day ONE!!!
I am wearing my Complaint Free bracelet with my goal in mind.
Inspired by the website: A Compliant Free World.org, I am striving to achieve 21 days of being complaint free. My daily goal is to avoid verbally complaining or criticizing.
I had a great, complaint-free day on Thursday. However, it was a day off of work with little contact with the "outside" world, so how admirable is that?
Today, I was having a great day and even tried to "uplift" a family member who expressed a challenge they were experiencing when we spoke across states on our cell phones. When our communication seemed labored, I remained peaceful in my interactions. However, once I hung up, a few "choice words" escaped my mouth and...
I moved my purple band from one wrist to the other realizing that
DAY ONE
would start again, tomorrow.
Which reminds me of the AMAZING SONG: "Tomorrow", in the musical, Annie.
This spring, I had the pleasure of seeing my Amazing Niece in her first stage play, which was Annie.
She was OUTSTANDING!
The words in the song, Tomorrow, from Annie, are so inspirational.
Although it actually is storming as I write this, I know the sun will come out again.
I realize the same is true in life.
I will hold on....
'til Tomorrow...
Yet, now, I am back to Day ONE!!!
I am wearing my Complaint Free bracelet with my goal in mind.
Inspired by the website: A Compliant Free World.org, I am striving to achieve 21 days of being complaint free. My daily goal is to avoid verbally complaining or criticizing.
I had a great, complaint-free day on Thursday. However, it was a day off of work with little contact with the "outside" world, so how admirable is that?
Today, I was having a great day and even tried to "uplift" a family member who expressed a challenge they were experiencing when we spoke across states on our cell phones. When our communication seemed labored, I remained peaceful in my interactions. However, once I hung up, a few "choice words" escaped my mouth and...
I moved my purple band from one wrist to the other realizing that
DAY ONE
would start again, tomorrow.
Which reminds me of the AMAZING SONG: "Tomorrow", in the musical, Annie.
This spring, I had the pleasure of seeing my Amazing Niece in her first stage play, which was Annie.
She was OUTSTANDING!
The words in the song, Tomorrow, from Annie, are so inspirational.
Although it actually is storming as I write this, I know the sun will come out again.
I realize the same is true in life.
I will hold on....
'til Tomorrow...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Day Two Yet Day 1 of 21
Yesterday was Day One.
It was the first day I wore my Complaint Free bracelet with my goal in mind.
Inspired by the website: A Compliant Free World.org, I am striving to achieve 21 days of being complaint free. My daily goal is to avoid verbally complaining or criticizing.
If I were to be complaint free for five days, and on day six I complain, then I have to begin my count over.
So, although this is Day Two of wearing the bracelet, I did complain yesterday so today is Day 1 of 21 for me.
What did I complain about?
My cell phone.
I was aggravated when it failed to follow the command I "punched" in. Was it really the fault of my phone? Doubtful. I have been known to "wrestle" with technology. However, I affirm that is changing for the better.
That wasn't my only complaint for the day. Yet, my life is not a completely "open book"! So, there's my blog for the day.
It was the first day I wore my Complaint Free bracelet with my goal in mind.
Inspired by the website: A Compliant Free World.org, I am striving to achieve 21 days of being complaint free. My daily goal is to avoid verbally complaining or criticizing.
If I were to be complaint free for five days, and on day six I complain, then I have to begin my count over.
So, although this is Day Two of wearing the bracelet, I did complain yesterday so today is Day 1 of 21 for me.
What did I complain about?
My cell phone.
I was aggravated when it failed to follow the command I "punched" in. Was it really the fault of my phone? Doubtful. I have been known to "wrestle" with technology. However, I affirm that is changing for the better.
That wasn't my only complaint for the day. Yet, my life is not a completely "open book"! So, there's my blog for the day.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Perfectly Imperfect, On Day One & Always
We are all
Perfectly Imperfect.
We are here,
growing and learning.
We are here,
to support one another.
I have weaknesses,
that may be your strengths.
You offer your hand
and I will take it.
I have strengths,
that may be your weaknesses.
I offer you my hand.
This is how we build each other up.
This is how our world prospers.
This is a World of Intrigue.
Live it up!
Perfectly Imperfect.
We are here,
growing and learning.
We are here,
to support one another.
I have weaknesses,
that may be your strengths.
You offer your hand
and I will take it.
I have strengths,
that may be your weaknesses.
I offer you my hand.
This is how we build each other up.
This is how our world prospers.
This is a World of Intrigue.
Live it up!
A Battle in the USA Today
There is a BATTLE being waged right here, in the U.S.A.
Our actions can support or hinder this battle.
If being part of the SOLUTION interests you, READ ON.
This battle is being fought in every state, every city and every neighborhood that...
has Internet access.
It involves all of the attention we give to TRIVIAL EVENTS.
The "battle" I notice is between:
the amount of Media Attention to Trivial, Negative Events compared with
the amount of Media Attention to Positive, Inspirational Events.
Case in point:
As I opened the Yahoo home page to access my email account, a story "jumped out" from the screen about Ann Curry and the mistake she made in her commencement address at Wheaton College in Norton, Massachusetts. I am not going to detail what that mistake entailed since I find it to be trivial news, focused on negativity.
I personally would prefer that a different news article would have grabbed my attention.
Instead, I would prefer to have read about...
someone who is overcoming a challenge,
or someone who is creating positive changes in their community.
I try to make wise choices with the food I put into my body.
I believe the media input we feed our minds can either suppress or nourish us mentally.
I appreciate media sources that strive to enrich our lives with POSITIVE news.
In my opinion, I do not feel that Ann Curry's blunder needed to be "pop up", Internet news. It seems that we are so quick in our society to hunt down people's trivial "brush fire" faults and spread them like wildfire!
The article stated that there would be no video or transcript of Curry's gaffe on the Web because the school graciously removed all traces of it.
If that was the response of those closest to the situation,
WHY must the media hunt down negativity and post it for all to see?
Perhaps there are those who want to focus on that kind of news.
I am not one of those people.
I believe many others feel the same.
We have little control over what the media publishes.
We do have control over what we choose to put into our minds, however.
We can control the news we spread by "word of mouth".
We CAN make a change.
We can find ways in our own corner of the world to focus on the positive.
Think about how our society could benefit if each person took their attention off of the TRIVIAL.
Let's build each other up, not break each other down!
Yes, Ann Curry made a mistake, yet she is HUMAN.
We all are!
We are all, PERFECTLY... IMPERFECT!!!
We are so fortunate in this country to live in peace...with no actual war being raged on U.S.A. soil.
Let's not create our own battle with trivial criticisms.
Each of us can help by refusing to give attention to trivial matters!
We all inhabit some part of this Intriguing World.
Do we decorate our space with dull criticisms & complaints or colorful compliments?
The power to choose is ours.
The choice lies..
at the tip of our tongue!
One helpful resource I recently discovered as I strive to focus on the positive is:
A Complaint Free World.org
This is a website that has a suggested plan to help a person develop an attitude of gratitude. It is based on the premise that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.
Although I am aware of the importance of focusing on the positive in my life and speaking without complaints, it is not always easy for me to do!
I am wearing my Complaint Free Bracelet today. I plan to keep track of my progress toward my goal of going 21 days without complaining.
Here's to Day One...
Our actions can support or hinder this battle.
If being part of the SOLUTION interests you, READ ON.
This battle is being fought in every state, every city and every neighborhood that...
has Internet access.
It involves all of the attention we give to TRIVIAL EVENTS.
The "battle" I notice is between:
the amount of Media Attention to Trivial, Negative Events compared with
the amount of Media Attention to Positive, Inspirational Events.
Case in point:
As I opened the Yahoo home page to access my email account, a story "jumped out" from the screen about Ann Curry and the mistake she made in her commencement address at Wheaton College in Norton, Massachusetts. I am not going to detail what that mistake entailed since I find it to be trivial news, focused on negativity.
I personally would prefer that a different news article would have grabbed my attention.
Instead, I would prefer to have read about...
someone who is overcoming a challenge,
or someone who is creating positive changes in their community.
I try to make wise choices with the food I put into my body.
I believe the media input we feed our minds can either suppress or nourish us mentally.
I appreciate media sources that strive to enrich our lives with POSITIVE news.
In my opinion, I do not feel that Ann Curry's blunder needed to be "pop up", Internet news. It seems that we are so quick in our society to hunt down people's trivial "brush fire" faults and spread them like wildfire!
The article stated that there would be no video or transcript of Curry's gaffe on the Web because the school graciously removed all traces of it.
If that was the response of those closest to the situation,
WHY must the media hunt down negativity and post it for all to see?
Perhaps there are those who want to focus on that kind of news.
I am not one of those people.
I believe many others feel the same.
We have little control over what the media publishes.
We do have control over what we choose to put into our minds, however.
We can control the news we spread by "word of mouth".
We CAN make a change.
We can find ways in our own corner of the world to focus on the positive.
Think about how our society could benefit if each person took their attention off of the TRIVIAL.
Let's build each other up, not break each other down!
Yes, Ann Curry made a mistake, yet she is HUMAN.
We all are!
We are all, PERFECTLY... IMPERFECT!!!
We are so fortunate in this country to live in peace...with no actual war being raged on U.S.A. soil.
Let's not create our own battle with trivial criticisms.
Each of us can help by refusing to give attention to trivial matters!
We all inhabit some part of this Intriguing World.
Do we decorate our space with dull criticisms & complaints or colorful compliments?
The power to choose is ours.
The choice lies..
at the tip of our tongue!
One helpful resource I recently discovered as I strive to focus on the positive is:
A Complaint Free World.org
This is a website that has a suggested plan to help a person develop an attitude of gratitude. It is based on the premise that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.
Although I am aware of the importance of focusing on the positive in my life and speaking without complaints, it is not always easy for me to do!
I am wearing my Complaint Free Bracelet today. I plan to keep track of my progress toward my goal of going 21 days without complaining.
Here's to Day One...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)